Being labeled is one thing.. but being labeled something that you are not is another...

I am a kind of person that values friendship and relationships... I tend to please a lot of people, that's just the way that I am. I guess that it's my own fault that I tend to please others often, people tend to generalize that i'm just trying to put on the 'moves' with what I intend to be a random act of kindness.

But when I finally wanted to get serious, and start things simple, I get slapped with the pre-concieved notion that i'm just playing or pleasing for the heck of it, or "it's normal... he does that a lot" I can't blame people for their own notions, but I feel sad that I find it hard to overcome the hurdle of breaking away from just being a "pleaser".  I feel that im kind stupid and numb in some sort of way coz I often just please and please with no follow-ups or indicating on what's really the deal, and the reason for that is IT'S HARD TO READ PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY WOMEN. i just keep on easing the tension by pleasing but i've concluded that in the duration of the time that I please they will think that I just do that normally. Well that's my fault coz I don't know what to say, and when to say it.

It's no fun at all, honestly those of you who say that partying and pleasing people is fun... think twice...

---pleasing everyone will eventually get you no one---

Now that everything is awkward

Let's try to be a little bit forward

It seemed that I was fooling around, but I was trying to be true..

I forgot to think and take things slow, and did things out of the blue..

All I can do is wait.. and start fresh on a clean slate.

I suddenly remembered that I have a blog... I just want to write for old times sake.... it's gonna be a throwback

Some of us has to grow older faster than others...

I heard this line from my stat prof. and yes I do agree. The world is going to fuck us over one way or the other, and one can't help it but whine and breakdown from all the stress, pressure and unfortunate string of events. But I tell you this, let us look at it in a different paradigm, we stomach these downfalss and consider as a means for character building. All these trials and ordeals will eventually make us rise above the rest.

The past 7 months has been hard for me, payback is indeed a bitch all of the days i partied and indulged in careless non-sense took its toll. I have been sober for the past 7 months.. no vices at all. I realized that health indeed is a good investment, and I needed this Jolt in order to fix up my life... before it's too late. I have realized that i need to get my facts straight, I need to grab the opportunity while I still can. Investing in lots of capital gains to be able to pay for the bills. At a young age, I am slowly learning the essence of investing... not just in monetary means but in other aspects as well, health, relationships, friendship and faith are fundamental aspects that one needs to invest in. Having been faced with hospital bills, medications, school payments at my own expense has taught me to balance and maximize with I have and what I don't have.

my summer vacation is about to end... believe it or not i had lots of fun this summer even though i didn't go out of town that much. i had fun because i was happy during the summer. happy to be doing stuff that i haven't done in a long time, that is having time for myself. training, going to moro, and happy ym-chitchats til i drop was the bulk of my summer fun. Maybe this isn't fun for most of you, but it really means a hell lot to me. A break from all that deep smarty pants yappin' was bliss. All i needed was simple talks about life itself.. old memories of kiddie shows, stupid looking mascots and making fun of tv chat. that was it. hanging out with old highschool friends and just chilling out. i hope this isn't just a summer fever that would subside.. but rather something that just got ignited and continue

-- ain't no fever fo sho!

just got home from the tournament... steady lang.. medjo back on track... even though i haven't played "real" judo for a year.. finished my first match under 12 seconds.. yeah.. sarap mehn.. but the succeeding matches was so and so.. my cardio sucks! BIG TIME! got a new medal at least... bling bling.. yeah!

shit.. still haven't done my 5 page paper for english... i'm dead..

just spent the whole day here at francis' house... all of us had literally nothing to do.. coz there was no classes.. raffy, ian, jp, argee, lee and grey.. we just watched season 7 and 8 of southpark.. tangina! laughtrip puta.. missed watching this shit non stop! with our handy-dandy stash of rhum.. and "vitamins" what could go wrong? i know i shouldn't be doing this in preparation for sunday's game.. but what the heck!